Saturday, January 22, 2011


When I was a little girl, I used to sneak around to watch this video.
(shhhhh...Don't tell my mom)
It was SO ATTRACTIVE: beautiful people, sensuality, the colors were vibrant, the tempo, the sound was catchy... shot in a slow, captivating way & had me thinking about SEX.
No lie... I couldn't have been more than six/ seven years old....
This is still one of my favorite videos of all time!


SEX taps into the emotional, psychological, physiological being.  The visual stays in the brain & causes you to "feel". I can still remember how I felt watching this George Michael video at seven (over 20 years ago), and though the feeling is quite different these days- it still affects me on the inside part ;-)

The media utilizes sex to sell! It’s a marketing tactic that has been employed and exploited since the beginning of time and has only evolved and become more raunchy and overt as time has progressed. In this new millennium where people are exercising their right to free speech and self-expression, sex has become the norm on television, in music, the work force, and life in general...

Check out these celebrities and their before/ after shots

Sweet Mariah- a vision of love

Mimi's Bodacious Bod

Janet's innocent pleasure principle

Janet's roughing it up and out  (LOL)

RiRi's Pon de Replay- when her forehead was her biggest asset


Megan pre-Fox

Megan transformed

Let's face it...SEX IS HOT!
(In music, fashion, cinema)

And though I do not morally agree with the manipulation of sex & women as a whole, I fully acknowledge that the entertainment industry is a BUSINESS. They are in it to make money, not to do the right thing.
Let's be for real.
I commend artists who stay true to who they are; whether they are the good, wholesome girl next door, afro-centric diva, or a hot, sexy vixen. Every once in awhile, a borderline pornographic video or photoshoot will surface and the general public will be appalled and judge and pose questions such as, "what kind of an example are they to our children?" 
Here's the answer:
"they are not to be any kind of example to our children. WE ARE."

 I'm a mom & as such, it is my duty to monitor what my son is exposed to: to communicate what is wrong & right, to teach him to respect women. I was exposed to videos and pictures and music of explicit sexual content at a young age. (I had teenage uncles and aunts) BUT, at the same time, I had a mother that was down my throat every time I tried to breathe. She made sure there was no other option for me than to be GOOD. I had to evolve into a strong woman because of who SHE was.
We are simply products of our environment.

The problem is not SEX in the media.

It's that we are not taking the time to raise our children.

It is OUR responsibility to teach our girls to be ladies and our boys to RESPECT A LADY!




  1. I truely love this blog. Keep up the good work and keep the blogs coming ;-)

  2. Good point girl...But evolution of good television vs trash has got us down to where there is nothing left to the imagination. whatever happen to playing music videos on tv? now it's just trash!!

  3. Great topic in light of this week's "Skins" controversy. I can't speak much on that particular show because I haven't nor do I have any intention of seeing. In general, the envelopes keep being pushed every year. In the end parent's should be outraged at themselves if their kids are watching similar shows because I don't know any 13YO who pays the cable bill. True. Sex sells. But we have to ask when is it too much? Kids are bound to be exposed to the over saturation of sex in our society. Parents definitely need to be vigilant because the responsibility for how kids deal with what they are exposed to lies with them. Because sometimes even if parents monitor tv viewing/music etc.

  4. @ Wenda: Thank you hun.

    @ Anonymous & Esther: Agreed! The amount of trash that now exists on our air waves far outweighs the occasional "freak me baby" videos we'd watch as kids. TV is definitely more graphic and out-there than it has ever been. Clear example: this past wk, I decided to watch Glee since it had won so many awards at the Golden Globes and I am constently hearing about it from collegues and friends. My son happened to be in the room for a scene where one of the main characters (a boy) grabs and kisses another boy. My son is totally shocked (& so am I since it just wasn't what I was expecting to see on prime time tv). HOWEVER--I have spoken to my son many times about homosexuality.It's not what he's exposed to, so I didn't want him finding out about homosexuality or anything else really (ie; sex, drugs, racism, etc)outside of his home. He knows that there are different types of families. That scene was an opening for an even deeper conversation about sexuality (no matter how caught off guard & taken aback I was- it became an opportunity).

    I don't have cable in my house because there's absolutely nothing of substance on tv. The shows get racier because that's what the general public demands for better ratings. I get it & I'm not blaming MTV for Skins. The masses will sit down and watch it & send their ratings through the roof. That's all they care about. But, What I care about, is that my 9 year son have no idea what Skins even is. Stick to Dragon Ball Z boy... lol

  5. Joe I totally agree! Parenting is not something that occurs overnight, and as I shared with someone this week we must also acknowledge that this generation of parents are much younger than our parents when we were growing up in many communities. Often the age difference is like some 10 years! So here we are with a generation of YOUNG parents trying to develop parenting skills. I believe that all the money we spend for non-profits to mentor children should be better invested in mentoring young parents! Working with that population of people I've never seen such a greater need.

    As for sex, I have controversial feelings about it all, but one thing I DO want to point out is that there is a very poigant statement in the Bible that says 'by beholding we become changed'. In this scenario frankly I don't think thats simply philisophical. You made a statement about how that George Michael's video made you 'feel', I know that feeling. I used to get it watching 90210 when my mom wasn't home, or cathcing a glimpse of a porn magazine. Your body responds physically to 'watching' sex scenes/images. Having said that I have a crazy but not far off theory that these activities over time mess with puberty. At 6 sex isn't what my body should be responding to, milk and cookies maybe, but not sex. I mean just think about when people try to speed up the process of ripening foods...I consider that scenario with out children. I think it contributes to their physical health just as much as their mental health. Just a thought!